Where to go

I haven’t written my blog for a long time, partly it’s due to my sheer laziness, partly because I gathered nobody would even find it, let alone read it. But anyway, I decided to write something tonight.

I’m almost 27, I told my self. And it is 2017, 17 years after 2000, I could never figure out where those years went. So many years, I’m getting older every day. Does the performance in the work really matter? Not sure, maybe not that important. So what really matters? I know it, I always know it, but I’m always afraid to face it.

I started trying to solve problems on leetcode, that was for my career. Sometimes I thought maybe I just needed to choose a life and went with it, but I really hoped the life I chose would be perfect, or at least full of happiness and fulfillment, but actually it was not.

I often think of the Sergeant in Forrest Gump, he lost his legs during the war, he didn’t know what to do. He cursed his life, joked about God, but when he finally got a normal life, he didn’t say anything. He never mentioned whether God existed or not, maybe he still didn’t know. I often pondered over the same question, but I had no answer to it. Why wouldn’t God give me a better life? Maybe he has his reason, I just need to go with it.

It’s already late, I have to go to bed and sleep. I wrote some nonsense here, whatever.