I had a dream last night

I put this blog back online today. I think I need a blog to express my feelings and record my life. The only problem of this blog is that it is written in English, which is not my native language. I’ve always tried to start a new blog using my native language, so I can write more freely in that way. However, bringing up a blog takes a lot of efforts, so I haven’t done it in these years.

Back to the topic, I had a dream last night. I dreamed about a girl that I liked a lot. She is my workmates. We used to work together frequently in the past, but after some changes in the workplace, I have few opportunities to talk with her now. In my dream, we worked together again, which made me happy. I also dreamed that she went to learn swimming in a pool. Her teacher was a male, which made me envious. I think it might imply that I still have feelings for her. But my chance of getting her is not good. I didn’t try hard to go after her in the past, maybe part of the reason is I’m afraid of being rejected. The fear of rejection is so big that I would rather give up altogether. And I also know that I cannot match up to her because I have some illnesses that are hard to cure. She may find someone better. It’s a sad story, but it’s true. God doesn’t give me enough to marry a girl like her.